So it’s my 19th birthday. Yahoo! I couldn’t believe that times have gone so fast! It seems to me that my childhood days were only just yesterday. But it’s not. I came past adolescence, have graduated from high school and now on my way to finish my MA, hopefully, in two years time. And it was the things that happened all throughout those years that kept me busy to reflect on life. What have I achieved? What did I miss? Where did I fail? And have I learned from my mistakes?
These questions are just plain boring and corny, even sentimental, during other days of the year. But it is during my birthday that those questions gain significance.It is because one’s birthday is supposed to be a moment of reflection.
For me, I have a lot to celebrate. I have loving parents, wonderful siblings, a bunch of equally wonderful uncles and aunts, funny and helpful cousins, ‘fantastic’ high school friends, my ‘awesome’ poleco blockmates, my UAP CAS mates and even strangers like my landlords and landladies who have shown goodness to me throughout the years. I thank God for good health and equally good education. Also for direction and never failing love. Whew, please permit me to be a ‘corn’ in capital letters since its my birthday! And its my blog!
But as much as I want to be thankful for all my blessings from God, I also want to focus on things that I have to improve. Of course I’m human and not perfect like everyone else. And there is something about imperfection that is interesting to think about, especially during birthdays. I remember Martha Stewart’s words on gardening. She said that it is the garden’s imperfection that allows the gardener to move and cultivate. It is because there are things to be worked on that movement and action are stimulated. The same with our character. It is because we are imperfect that makes us move and do good to change whatever there is in our thinking and actions to correct.
As for myself, there are five that I can think of. First is to control my temper. That kills me a lot especially when times are bad. I, most often than not, blow my top during tense situations. I also love to argue for the sake of arguing! (Isn’t that funny….and stupid?) I wish I have more patience and less enthusiasm for argument. But I hope I can work on that in God’s grace.
Second is honesty and integrity. I must admit that I’m a kind of know-it-all person, and that attitude is a flash point between me and many people, most particularly THOSE who have that same trait as mine! I also tend to paint an image of myself as being perfect and clean without acknowledging the fact that I TOO have mistakes to deal with before poking on others’ noses.
Third is laziness. I remember in Dante’s novel, Inferno and Purgatorio, that SLOTH can be the root of many evils. That includes tardiness and lack of respect or genuine concern for others’ time. And you don’t accomplish anything in your life with that which is more bad. And that is ringing a bell on me because I have several papers to write but I’m BLOGGING. Never mind!
Fourth is over-thinking. I am always pulling the HAMLET out of me when papers come or during exams. I always aim for the best, and because of that I could not even accomplish a single good.
Fifth is prodigality. I tend to spend money like there’s no tomorrow (this is a Filipino saying which I just translated because I think it also makes sense in English). That is why I should pull out the economics part of my Political Economy education to make me the ‘economic man’ I should be. I am not a SELF-MAXIMIZING individual (but thankfully because of that I am not one of those ungodly rationalist scumbags). So I guess I could now write in my paper for PET that Hume and the positivists are wrong to assume that all men are rational, as they defined it! I for one is not–again, thankfully I am not! Haha.
But let’s see if I can improve, in God’s grace, at least three of these come my 20th birthday.
Enough of this. I have to end blogging because I have school works to do. Better to write papers now than to cram (AGAIN?). I must say that I am thankful to those who sent their messages on Facebook and twitter, and those who found time to call and, even, greet me personally. That really made my day.
I am looking forward for my 20th and, even, 80th birthday (that’s how ADVANCED I am) in God’s grace.